The New Orkut ???

Just as I was done throwing sh*t in the face of Orkut it has rekindled my desire to beat the hell out of people responsible for the latest disaster they have managed to accomplish. People call it a new Theme, a new kinda Look, a Wow inspiring change! I call it shit ... take a look.


Now I am a big preacher in favor of change, but there are certain basic problems with this new design. Hi orkut! Certain things I hate about you are ...

1. If the image captions are too long, so long sucker! They wont show completely.
2. The color scheme looks as if someone took a crystal clear dump over the old theme.
3. The new font colors are not even 10% as good as the old one.
4. The text doesnt look as good as the old style.
5. The buttons look as if designed by an infant, could'nt google come up with better sleeker and retro button designs.
6. The black and white images, which used to look Very Cool on the old design, now look like portraits of grannies sick and tired of knitting.
7. The colors in the colored snaps look duller and shittier due to the super bright (halogen) backgound color (Tide wala white). I mean it has been a sincere effort to blind us into believing that change is good. I say FcK oFF ... wake up, all colors are washed out.
8. Now whats up with the curvy edges of all on-screen elements, I think the developers tried to make it baby-safe, with no sharp edges.
9. I hate bubbles ... and everything here looks like I'm looking at the old orkut through a semi gelatinous bubble.
10. The new look 'per-se' makes me feel as if it has been designed because all the orkut users were dumb and did'nt know what they were doing. Assholes!
11. Orkut was most definitely totally jealous of the way Facebook looks. So the super brainy geeks at google sat down and thought of how to counter that jealousy. Suddenly the brainiest of them all stood up and screamed, Lets rip off their design, make a few changes and launch a new orkut! Everyone clapped.
12. Another one spoke, But wouldn't it be too obvious that we are jealous of Facebook? How about adding a new feature, suppose, we add the 'ScrapBook' button on the top of the page again ...; Everyone clapped again.
13. And ... Another geek spoke, Yeah! and to cover it all up we'll over publicise the Scrapbook button on the top of the page so that no one notices the changes we've made in design. We can pass this junk off as not just a theme change, but a functional overhaul. Clapping followed.
14. Then some f*ck-bag suggest the worst of it all, We can slide in the new design to the users slowly, group by group. Everyone nodded. Their plan was to make us feel that "Google is God, when Google decides and starts doing something, it is inevitable. We will have to wait for the inevitable to fall on our heads flat."
15. Everything is smaller.
16. It all looks like a chubby high school chick who is high on marijuana and has a lot of make-up on.
17. What is this Add Photo crap in the scrapbooks anyways? Who needs it? Couldnt you have added a better functionality? Like 'delete all scraps'. Or maybe a new button 'Delete my Profile' on the top of the page.
18. There is only one good point with this design; you can edit your photo album more easily now (hint: upload photo section on top); but the new design is so sucky that I dont even wanna login anymore.
19. Fonts have been made bigger, but the place-holders for the same text has been made smaller. And why does every box look like a shady grey calamity? Moronic.
20. I thought they would give us a 'Theme Selector' functionality. Suckers! Think of how cool that would be, users choosing their own themes (like blog templates).

But thats all just my own opinion, just cos' I'm sick of people asking me, Did you see the new Orkut? Wow! Aint it great!. NO! ITS NOT GREAT. I HATE IT. I'LL DELETE MY ACCOUNT AND EVERYONE WILL THEN CRY THEIR EYES OUT. Yeah Right!