The Disappearance

Nothing has changed. The once green grass is dead. The soft ground is barren. The mist has swallowed the scenic lake. Nothing has changed.

The last train to suburbia had left hours ago. The next train back to town was none of my concern. I had come here to unravel the mysteries of my life. This was not about me or my idiosyncrasies. This was about the dream I was having night after night. Something that had blurred the line between reality and this. This is it, I thought to myself. I knew I was not going back now. I needed answers to questions that weren't there. I was looking for that face which had haunted me for years. I remember coming here at wee hours to meet her. Sometimes I was welcome, other times I was not. Sometimes she beckoned me, sometimes my love for her did. Invariably the lake had always left me amused. I had always wondered what lay beyond the darkness. I remember driving on the road close to the lake late at night, driving fast in the chilly winds. Eyes barely open, I remember trying to look over the darkness into the oblivion. Hoping to catch a glimpse of uncertainty. I remember thirty years ago she had disappeared, without a word. Without a goodbye. Since then I had started having this dream of her wrapping something, a book maybe ... in plastic. I remember how I had never had the courage to sing for her, when I had no problem singing for a crowd. I remember the loss for words when I was with her. Dumb-struck and bewitched by her flawless beauty. Thirty years is indeed a long time. Still I clearly remember the last words she had spoken to me. That memory was flawless. So ... will I see you tomorrow?

Its strange how time changes things. I remember the times we had spent together. She was always aloof, on higher ground. She always spoke of a distant land where her life would be better. I being practical had never believed her. Thirty years of being without her have changed me. Changed me into a believer. Nothing has changed. The same road, the same cross, the same building. Just that no one lived here since the nuclear winter struck. The lake was contaminated. My dream had brought me this far. Just a few more steps. I clicked open the door. Somewhere at the back of my head I was waiting for the bark of her dog. Funny the tricks our mind plays. I stepped into the house. Uncertain what I would find. Dust had covered and devoured almost everything she had left behind. I reached to towards the living room wall. Would you like to have some beer? I had asked, Yeah sure. Why not.

I remembered how she had always spoken of a painting in her living room. It was the painting of a lake. With a small lake-house right at the center. She had promised she would take me there someday as it was close by. I sat down beside the place where her television used to be. The painting was in my hand. I wiped it clean. In the glare of the glass I could see my gray hair. I had spent my entire life looking for her. There was nothing left to do but to come back to the start and begin it all over again. The one and only reason I was here today. I didn't realize how quickly lost in my thoughts I had fallen asleep. I woke up almost 2 hours later and nothing had changed.

Its time. The sands of time were cruel. They had consumed everything. I decided to go to the lake house as it was one and the only thing she had promised me thirty years ago. After three hours of walking, swimming, making my way through mud, I was finally there. The small lake house looked more like an over-sized kennel. I tried opening the door, it was locked. I smashed it down. My old body had taken enough beating for the day but something from within had kept me going all this while. I was a fool. All my life I had chased this sensation, the feeling of her well-being. All my life I had pursued something farce. Something that was never mine. But love is a strange thing. I had always wanted to be with her, nothing had changed. I had to find her ... I was willing to look everywhere, even in hell. This is hell. I thought to myself. Anyplace without her is hell. Without her love my live was nothing but this carnival of rust.

I looked in that lake-house. I looked hard. After 30 minutes of searching, I had found what I was looking for. A book. Wrapped in plastic. I hurriedly opened the wrapping. The inside of the book was now termite infested. I quickly turned to the first page.

"Max. If you are reading this, you have finally understood me. Maybe you did deserve me after all. I will not give any reasons for my disappearance, and you will never know where I am. All you need to know is that I will be safe. I will take care of myself like you have always wanted me to. I know you love me. Believe me, you are not the reason I am leaving. I just need a break. Take care."

The Dark Night

I am still standing. I have not done this to myself in years. I took out this semi-wet cigarette from the coat pocket of the guy lying in front of me. I light it up and the smoke does what it has to. It dries up the insides of my mouth and causes a burning sensation near the vocal cords. But right now the burning sensation is overwhelmed by the pain in my belly. I'm still standing tall. He should have shot me in the face. The goons these days... they have the least knack of getting the job done. I convince myself that I have won. The bullet wound in my stomach is about to spill my guts all over the dirty alley. The last time I was in this alley I was not perforated. I was walking tall. I was insane. I was angry. The whimpers from the asshole I destroyed tonight break my chain of thought. Shut the fuck up ! I advise Mr. Not-So-Good. I am calm. My voice seems a bit harsh, but I'm okay. I'll make it through this shit... I tell myself in the back alleys of my mind. The man lying in front of me is crying like a chick cries after a rape. Spineless fool.

Five minutes ago I entered the Sex-Toy Bar to settle an old score with this fool. Turned out that the fool had upgraded. He now carried a Barretta in his coat pocket. Before I could punch him to the ground he managed to lay a few shots in my belly. I could have capped his ass any minute but I wanted him to suffer; and there he was lying in the dirtiest alley of NYC, crying like a worthless bitch. The barretta was now in my left hand. My hands were drenched with blood. Mixed blood, some from the gunshot wound in my belly and rest from the gums of the man lying in front of me. He must have lost twelve of his precious teeth in the battering I gave him three minutes ago, that is, before I dragged him out in the rain, into the back alley of the cheapest bar in NYC. It takes me nearly five minutes to finish a cigarette; but tonight was different. I did not have much time. I had seen the bartender pick up the phone as I was dragging this low-life bastard out of the bar. He must have called 911... That means that the cops would be here any minute now. I throw the cigarette into the nearby drain. I focus. My right hand was free now. I held the gun with my left hand and pressed it over the wound tightly. I focus.

You piece of shit, how do you want me to finish you off ... I said looking at the drain. Dont kill me please, I am sorry for your wife, for your kids, I am sorry for all that and more ... please dont kill me. I will be your slave for life.... He sobs. Its of no use now. He is as good as dead. He knows it better than anyone else. Now its time to take away his most precious thing. I muster up courage, but I'm still standing. The pain shoots up to my head, my eyes hurt. But the rain doesnt stop. I take the gun in my right hand, covering my hole with the other. My own hole. My only drawback. The alley light flickers. I point the gun at the man's groin. He is too beatup and too afraid to move. He closes his eyes. Look at me asshole, look in my eyes. I scream. Please dont shoot me ... I will... er... BANG ! ... Ohhh... fuck... you fucking bastard you shot me in the dick ... asshole....fuck you... fuc.... ack..... aaaahh.... He is in pain. I took away from him what makes him a man. I love it, I love the cries and the blood all over the alley from his 'love machine'. You deserve this you fool ... you earned it. Ha ha ha ... I throw the gun away. I am stumbling, not much time left. The pain has become unbearable now, but the joy of seeing the fucker suffer is overpowering me. Time to finish the job ... I am still standing.

I grab his cheecks with both hands. My wound oozes out blood. Mixed with the dirty rain it hits the drain. Time to die, mother fucker. I bang his head into the wall behind him. It hits him so hard that his cry turns into a fade out sequence for a gothic rock number. His head has a big visible crack on it. Rain makes it even more clear. The wall behind was strong enough. The bastard suddenly stopped screaming and whimpering. Silence. I am still standing.

I had got the job done. I lose balance. Fall down and station myself near the dead goon. The rain had almost stopped as if marking the end of my mission. I smile. I still had a cigarette left in my pocket. The low-life smoked such cheap cigarettes... one drag couldnt have done the job, not even for mother teresa... I have two options now. Drag myself to the clinic nearby for first aid and a chance. Or, stay here and wait for the cops. I had seen a TV News report a few days ago, praising the prompt action of the NYPD. I hope they are prompt. I choose option two. Suddenly the sounds from Who wants to be a Millionaire ? play in my head. I smile. Correct answer Max they tell me. I light up the cigarette. I hope this is not the last one in my life. I will survive. I was not standing now. The pain had taken over the burning sensation again. Somehow the smell of the drenched alley mixed with the smell of blood and gun smoke felt nice. I was at rest. Waiting for the cops. Suddenly I heard the sirens, Finally... come on coppers ... be nice to me ok ? Come and find me quickly ... he he he. I smile again. Then I realize that the darkness rises all around me. I lose sight. Gosh. Not now Max. Hold on ... I hear my wife's voice. Daddy ... stop. Dont go. The darkness deepens. I cant even hear the cars on the road now. The only sound I hear now is the deafening noise of Silence. Suddenly, I feel I am still standing. Somehow ... Darkness prevails.

An Important Tutorial

No offense but unfortunately I'm back and I have to inform everyone before they make the same mistakes I made and end up as baked pancakes. World! This is important, so pay attention!

This is a tutorial on how to switch the 'contact information' from one Sony Ericsson* phone to another and vice versa. This info is also utmost important to people with Nokia/LG/Samsung phones. Now the things we require are listed as follows.

Two Computers (A and B) geographically at least 12 KMS apart. (Geeks/Nerds should not cry out to heavens that this could be done with one PC only, I know how its done that way, so chill you losers, get a life! Note: This is supposed to be funny)
One SE USB data cable.
SE PC Suite Software.
Two SE cell phones. (C1 and C2)

Here we go ...

Install the PC Suite on A.
Back up contacts from C1 to A.
Do not check if all the contact info is properly backed up.
Delete all contacts from C1.
Head to B.
Install the PC Suite on B.
Since B is slow, restart (Hard Boot) B for this to work.
Back up contacts from C2 to B.
Check this time if the info has been backed up correctly.
Since B is slow, restart (Hard Boot) B again for this to work.
Connect C1 and restore the contact info from B into it.
Check if C1 has all the info that C2 had before.
Head out towards A.
Now delete all contacts from C2.
Connect C2 to A.
Copy the backed up information from A to C2.
Realize it quickly, that you have lost half of your contacts from C1.
Desperately search for an old DVD with your contact information back up.
Pop-in the DVD and voila !
Restore some of the info which was lost.
Dont Panic !

See the point is that it doesnt matter if the whole process and/or the plan is working or not. It doesnt matter if I'm desperate or not. It doesnt matter if the USB cable is loose or if the PC is slow. It doesnt matter if anybody is doing anything or not. All that matters is that the contact transfer process is a small tiny thing which should work. If its not working, then some little thing is wrong somewhere. I have an inherent urge to fix such issues right there and then, and I swear to God that I will not back out or give up in midway. I will fix this thing and get it working anyhow. Just because its supposed to work fine. I am not a quitter, and I will not quit. Not now, not ever. It is more than just a contacts transfer or an ego issue. Its a problem, which I know how to solve, and hence I will solve it. :)

And in the end, as we all know, this story came to a happy ending. The contact info was transferred successfully. :)

And I just saved the world from calamity.